Public Displays of Affection in Thailand

My girlfriend is Thai, and I will be visiting her in about a month in Thailand. It will have been about a month and a half since we last saw each other, and so there will be some sparks flying.

So what is acceptible when it comes to showing affection? Can I hug her? Kiss her? Hold her hand? None of the above? Does it depend on where we are? (obviously a no no in temples)

It's always good to know these things so you don't embarrass your significant other, and make a fool of yourself.

Anyone committed a faux pas with regards to this?

Thanks in advance for any input

In public I never kiss or hug my wife (or whoever else I might be with at the time ). I think the Thais general view is that these activities are reserved for the bedroom; not the skytrain or shopping mall. I agree with this thinking as well. When I see a foreigner on the skytrain with his Thai girl and he has his hands all over her ass and he's pecking at her ears and lips, I mentally label her a whore. I'm sorry, but that's what has been culturally ingrained in my head after being here some time. If I see a foreign couple doing that, then I figure that they are just thrilled to be on holiday and they can't contain themselves (Thais find this highly entertaining, so if you do it, all eyes will be upon you), and this is what they'd do in Italy, France or home anyway. When I see a young Thai couple doing this, I think...hmm, they are the newer generation of 'Siam Square trendsters' who have disregarded their social mores and don't feel 'ai' (shy) anymore.

BTW, in my book holding hands is aok.

This post has been edited by mbk: 23 November 2007 - 11:48 AM

If you want to know how NOT to behave with your girlfriend in public, just go shopping in the Foodland in Suk Soi 5 and observe... Plenty of beetroot headed farangs and their brassy tarts to demonstrate the wrong way to behave in public.

Jetsam, on 2007-11-23 09:42:36, said:

I've spent years here and I still embarrass myself day in, day out... better get used to it. However, with regards displays of affection, anything more than a hand hold or linked arm is just poor show. I had this one nailed before I even came here because I never did the public petting thing back home, old fashioned fool that I am.

"brassy tarts" Think I can count on one hand the amount of times I've been to Foodland soi 5.

Hugging isn't a big deal though, and neither is a kiss on the cheek IMHO.

Cheeks on the face, that is.

Mandrake, on 2007-11-23 14:02:01, said:

At certain times of the evening and early morning, it is an absolute freak show in there.

mbk, on 2007-11-23 18:34:17, said:

Point taken, that's the last kind of image we want to encourage...it's going to be hard enough as it is. People tend to assume the worst

So the consensus is that as low-key as possible is best. That's what I wanted to find out. Thanks guys

I agree that a 'low key' configuration is the best way to go, if your lucky enough to get a date with smart bird here in the LOS.
In BKK these days, it's no problem holding hands and so forth. Out in the country like Issan, people may well be conservative in their ways. In public, just don't crawl all over each other like a rash.

Years ago, when after some hard graft I managed to get a date with the,[Thai] girl who eventually became my first wife, I had no idea about were we were going. It was her choice. It turned out she wanted me to see Wat Arun, 'Temple Of The Dawn.'
The problem was that I couldn't get anywhere near her. There were 4 chaperones in tow. And when crossing over in a narrow 'long tail,' I nearly fell in the river, tripping over their feet when trying to sit next to her. That caused a lot of merriment.
Still, I kept at it and the dates kept coming and the chaperones vanished one by one........

There are subtle exceptions however. There's this Savannakhet girl living in Mukdahan and I've seen her a number of times with her gay male friends at the local disco. I guess you could call her something of a fag hag in that case. However, a few weeks ago she introduced herself. The locals are very friendly to people on their own in the disco, really friendly.
Naturally, I keep a safe distance with new acquaintances and watch my sobriety levels carefully. After a couple of meetings it became clear she wasn't hitting on me in any way, tapping me for meal payments, of anything, other than a genuine offer of friendship. She's married, although I never see her husband and I get differing accounts as to the status of their relationship. I'm pretty sure they don't see eachother but we'll find out soon enough I guess.

Last night I stumbled into the disco again after a marathon beer binge sulk and made it to the bar without falling over. It's the sixth or seventh time I ran into her, she seems to be at this disco loads with the same gay Vietnamese friend (who is sometimes with his boyfriend)... really nice guy actually, I like him. I was surprised to see her because I thought she'd gone back to Savannakhet. She did her best to cheer me up out of my rancid sulk, she really tried. In the end, she insisted I only speak to her in Thai... and in the noisy disco, this lead to heads getting very close to make eachother heard... then arms went around backs... then faces brush against eachother... I felt myself getting horny. Then, out of the blue, I got a sniff kiss... it was really really sexy.

Later they dropped me home and I got an insistence I should call because 'I frien yooo, youooo frien mee, khao jai mai kaa?'... That's as far as it went. but I want more.

See Mandrake? You don't smell
Be careful though...she's married after all.

What exactly is a sniff kiss anyway? I keep hearing about this mysterious act of intimacy, but have a hard time imagining it. I would ask my gf to show me, but yeah well you know she's not here.

Jetsam, on 2007-11-23 18:20:04, said:

Exactly what the word says, a light sniff on your cheek. My son is only 2 but well, good at doing it already.

And on this subject...

http://www.orientexp...showtopic=10094

Mandrake, on 2007-11-23 18:01:16, said:

Living dangerously; I like it. Just make sure he isn't a cop or military man. I guess it doesn't really matter in the end though. They can all wield machetes and Mekong bottles fairly well. Have fun, but not too much.

It seems everyone here is a cop. Every male I meet in a bar or disco can't wait to tell me that they're a cop (with a big smile on their face). They can't all be cops, surely? (colloquially, 'Porleeet')

... Sorry, off topic.

A little further off topic. Cultural differences about infidelity are interesting. In many countries if a man catches his wife with another man, he usually tries to kill him or seriously rough him up. In Brazil if a man catches his woman at it, he politely tells the man to leave, and then puts a bullet in his wife's head.

Well...I guess she was the one cheating, not necessarily him Also, she was the one whom he had the emotional connection with, and thus hurt him the most. Maybe in their minds, guys are guys if you catch my drift.

Not that it really makes sense to me... (a bullet?)

In Bangkok, I sometimes hold my wife hand, for short period of time, in big department stores.
In Mukdahan, never did so far...

Same, same. (Ayutthaya though, not Mukdahan)

Mandrake, on 2007-11-23 16:02:01, said:

The question is what is right and what is wrong...

If there are farangs, who are the majority in some places in Thailand, this behaviour cannot be considered as wrong anymore...

Take a look to some streets in London, Paris or Berlin...if a local woman is not wearing a headscarf, she is an infidel and a whore...as she is presenting the minority among the Turkish or Arab community, which was taken over the local European Christian values by presenting the Islamic majority in that area....

Some places in Thailand you can compare with some streets in Europe full with immigrants...

Unlike however in Europe, the Farang immigrant in Thailand is the person, who pays and is not running on social welfare to the expenses of the host country.

Every thing has 2 sides...

I think snogging and public dry humping is prob the only no-go(s).

I guess nobody would mind if you hold the hand of the GF/wife in the countryside.
But well, nobody is doing it, so I'll wait for a while...

For me, personally, as a city girl, holding hand is a must. Unless he wanted to go through a series of questions like "why the fok do you not want to hold my hand? have you got other girls here?" and the rest of it.

Hugging is okay.

Kissing is... errmm.. ok. I mean, a quick kiss once in a while.

Not a good idea to try the above when you are in a village though, IMO.

And NO snogging under any circumstances.