HIV positive Vietnamese wanted for relationship

Hi guys,

first of all excuse my English it's not my native language. It's a bit of a sensitive topic, so I don't want to expose myself too much.

Please read first before you comment.

I live and work in Thailand for a couple of years now. Met this Thai woman who had an office job at the time and had her as girlfriend for more than two years. Found just out that she worked as a freelancer and lived with a foreigner before so that her English was good enough to strike her latest job.

Had to go back to Europe for two month and "jumped" her coming back to Thailand. There was some change in her behavior and we had a health check. We're both HIV positive now. When I was gone she went back to her old habbit working as a freelancer what she is still doing since I had to split with her.

Be careful anyway. There was recently an article in the "Bangkok Post" that the highest new infectionrate is among the former low risk group: "housewifes".

That said back to my topic. Couldn't stay with the Thai anymore because she betrayed me and I'm pretty sure infected me as well.

I'm on medication and live a normal life. Because of the infection I think I should only stay with someone who is infected herself. Now in the early 40ties, I don't want to stay alone for the rest of my life. On the other hand I don't want to spread the virus.

Don't want a Thai anymore. Read that there are lot of unfortunate former Vietnamese CSW who contracted the virus while working in neighboring Cambodia. Since I have a stable job and income I would like to live together with one of these Vietnamese, not saying it has to be a former CSW, but wouldn't mind anymore.

Couldn't find anything on Google.

Any thoughts or ideas?

There are plenty of HIV+ people everywhere, many more in Africa than in Asia.

But also USA has a lot of HIV+ people.

Very sorry to hear what happened to you. You are not the first one, there must be millions like you who got infected under similar circumstances.
What you write sounds very reasonable.

I think, no problem for you to find a new partner, who also is HIV+ anywhere in this world. Just be honest, when you date a woman. Do not act angrily like some irresponsible people, who do not care and just continue to transmit the infection.

I would not exclude Thai women generally in your situation. There will be not so few, who got it from their male partner. Just the opposite situation of yourself.

I really wonder, when the pharma research will develope something which will attack and destroy this virus completely - as far as I know, correct but expensive medical treatment can postpone the outbreak more than 25 years. If you are now 40 or so, you might enjoy your life up to 70.

I heard there is not much difference in daily life, just regular checks and expensive regular medicine. Some compare it with diabetes and similar medical problems which require medication for life.

Thanks for your fast reply.

Since I live in Thailand and prefer Asians I like to find someone in a neighboring country.

So far Thais no thanks.

This could be a win win situation on both sides. Think it's hard to find a partner in Vietnam for those girls and I would provide the medical care. Heard it's not so perfect in Vietnam.

Billy2010, on 06 January 2010 - 10:37 AM, said:

I wonder really if and how good HIV care is in Thailand - my question is just generally for information - luckily, I have nothing to do with that all.

Vietnam and similar countries - I do not think they can help much HIV infected people, as even often basic medical treatment is already a problem. Not to talk about the costs, which are beyond any average income in such developing countries, and almost nobody has a good medical insurance, which is willing to pay at least a good part for these expensive medication.

Again, good luck to you, I think, it is easy to find a woman, who has HIV infection under similar circumstances as you.

About HIV, and medication effective over 25 years, let me say, this is a long time. You do not know your future. There are other reasons also, why people, perfectly healthy, will have their life terminated within the next 25 years, and it is not predictable, like accidents or criminality.
There are also a big number of fatal illnesses like cancer or heart problems to consider....etc.

All the best to you!

Thanks again for your thoughts.

I'm in a special progam monitored by the local Red Cross. They're actually very good. It's about 60 Euro for medication a month plus a fee for regular medical check ups. My CD4 increased significantly already.

I can only advise everybody who has doubts to get checked and go into treatment as soon as possible.

May understanding is that 60 Euro about 100 USD is quite a high amount of money in countries like Cambodia or Vietnam.

Nevertheless it's mandatory to get treatment and follow a strict regime taking the medication at a daily basis. So far my daily dose is only two pills. That's not to much to swallow.

Unfortunatly it's not anymore possible to go thru the normal dating process if you're concerned with other peoples health. Who wants to revail to the new date that you got a deadly disease?

Think there should be a help organisation in Vietnam which could pass on my request/interest!

Billy2010, on 06 January 2010 - 08:12 AM, said:

This has been the case for many years now. However, a recent a Bangkok Post article covered the story about a HIV+ bar worker who turned freelancer and doesn't care who she infects because she "has to feed her baby."

What happened to you is tragic, but do you really want to rule out all Thai women because of it? I think you'd have a happier life if you could find a non-sex-worker who was betrayed by her spouse like you. I don't know how you could find such a person, though.

If you change your mind about Thais, let me know because there is someone I could ask for you.

Billy2010, on 06 January 2010 - 08:12 AM, said:

I'd very much like to participate in this thread, and I understand you're angry... but the above fatuous comments eliminate me from this conversation.

Billy2010, on 06 January 2010 - 12:30 PM, said:

First of all, I am not so sure, that this Thai woman was aware that she was HIV+ already, when you met her the first time.

And what makes you so sure, that you got it from her? Europe is also full with HIV+ infected people, or did you never had any sexual contact with anybody else except her during the last year?

About Thai women or not in future, it seems you are living in Thailand with some income and it would be good to meet a Thai woman with her own job and income and the same problems you have. - sounds me somewhat better than to look over the borders of Thailand to other countries, which are economically far below Thailand.

Just my thoughts.

In Thailand and elsewhere in this world there must be millions of people in the same situation as you are - there must be places, magazines, internet-forums etc. where these people are meeting and talking to each other. - It seems you are recently infected and therefore still confused and unsure what to do now.