helping your thai girlfriend - part 2 (the harsh realities)

Dear friends

It's a been a long time since i posted 'helping your thai gf, part 1'. Here is my follow up:-

You will remember that i was sponsering my gf to go to salon school to learn hairdressing, you will also remember she was an ex street whore for 5 years and i was planning on marrying her.

Well she managed to finish school and she found a job. She is doing well and learning new skills, she recently changed jobs and is doing spa, massage and attending to hair. The hours are long but this is thailand and you have to work like a dog if u wanna be a hairdresser.

Before arriving in Bangkok in january to see her, i confessed that i slept with a chinese whore whilst on holiday in april. After the conversation, she confessed that she to had slept with two guys twice. But i didn't believe that it was onlt two so i started pressuring her for the truth. Every day the total got more and more, in the end we settled for 3 farangs about 5 times each. She told me it wasn't for love but only for money and coz she was horny! So anyway, after this my trust in her was shattered. But i still cared about her because i new deep down she was trying to change.

So anyway i arrived in bkk on January 11th, saw her for the first time in a year and realised straight she wasn't the girl for me. She was to small and i simply didn't fancy her. I thought, 'how am i gonna get myself out of this one?' Well i was feeling horny and wanted to get my end away so i made love to her a few times on the first night being careful to bag up, next day i took her for an hiv test! She told me she had already passed one last august and one the august before. But now i new she was a lier, i wanted to be sure!

She was happy to go for a test but very apprehensive, we went to a small clinic on sukhumvit (600 baht). So she had the test, doctor called her in and hey presto she was positive! The doctor called me in and wanted to know if i had slept with her unprotected.The doctor told me she came in last year and he told her the same thing but she didn't listen to his advice. The doctor told us, she was only 80% positive and a confirmation test would be needed. So off we went to the 7 star 'Bumrungrad hospital' (2000 baht). They took more blood and told her to come back the next day. The next day we came back and she tested positive again! Unfortunately, she wouldn't accept the result and wanted to get tested somewhere else. We ended up at 'the thai red cross hospital'(which is free testing!), they drew blood once again and she tested positive once again! At this point she accepted her fate! Then they drew some more blood again for a cd4 count to check her immune system. The result would take a few days. So we decided to go see her mum in roiet and go to vietnam afterwards and pick up the results when we got back. I enjoyed the holiday very much accept all she did was cry like a baby the whole time, lol. I always got a twin room so we slept apart the whole time and she got used to the harsh realities straight away.

We got back to Bkk on the 28th january and we recieved her cd4 count result which was good at 386 and didn't yet need to start medication. But i had noticed on out travels she had a bad cough in the mornings, which she told me she had for a very long time. She told me, she was to scared to go the doctor to get it checked out coz she was petrified they would draw blood from her. I told the doctor and they tested her for tb. She was positive for that as well. Apart from her being a pain in the ass, she has a good heart and i won't abandon her now or in the future and will try to be a good friend. Well now she is getting treated for the tb, and she understands everything about hiv and aids. I took her to the hiv counceling centre next door and she met a very nice man who was also hiv positive. they gave her a very good booklet to read, which was actually quite gory. The booklet made her take note and gave her a kick up the back side. She has since met some more people who have hiv and she alot more serious now.

One thing that concerned me is how under educated some people in thailand are about HIV. This has certainly been a wake up call for me to, when you know someone who has hiv, the threat of Hiv becomes very real. Visiting the 'thai red cross hiv hospital' was an interesting experience. Seeing thai's and foriegners mixed into together. Just after my gf got her cd4 count, this incredibly attractive model like girl came in who looked like middle class thai. I noticed when she had seen the doctor. She came out with the same papers as my gf, she had also just recieved her cd4 count! So bloody hell seeing all them people come and go was a real eye opener. You read it about it all but you never see it with your own eyes!

So now i'm back in england and she is doing well and working in a new job. I bought her some hairdressing equipment before i left so she can go to the province when she wishes and make some cheap money cutting hair from her house. I actually belief this is the best thing that ever happened to her. HIV is a real blessing in her life. It's seems to have woken her up! She is lucky coz she can concentrate on her job and learning new skills whilst alot of prositutes who have hiv stay on the street and rot-away!

In Thailand they only start giving meds when your cd4 count is at 200, whilst in the west they now start giving meds when your cd4 counts is 350 or above. After the tb has been treated. I want her to go to bumrungrad to see the doc and get started on meds as soon as poss. It will hopefully give her a higher life expectancy by starting earlier but will also cost me more then the free meds she would have recieved from the government. I will get her to fill out the prescription at 'thai red cross hospital' coz it's half the price then buying anywhere else. If there is anyone out there who has hiv or is sponsering another person's treatment, please contact me as it would be nice to talk to you and gain some more insight and knowledge.

So what have I learned from this?

1. To always listen and the heed the advice from people at orient expat before looking for a thai gf.

2. Never get involved in a relationship with a bargirl or street hooker (the majority have behavioural problems!)

3. Not to shag bargirls or street hookers especially in thailand, it's just to risky!

4. If i find a new thai gf in the future, get her tested coz HIV is real! (It's free for thai's and a small fee for farangs to test at red cross centre. Better get tested to have peace of mind, it's small price to pay for a healthier future!

thank you for reading!

Thank you for your update, welcome back, and openly said, your experiences are nothing new to me and many others, who are living permanently in Asia. It's not only about Thailand, or Philippines.

There are certain people worldwide - many of them - who are totally down, and still they are lucky to find somebody who truly wants to help them, but they are totally unwilling to do something about themselves. To try to help them is time-waste, money-waste and do-gooder mentality, as it is hopeless.

I always like to compare such women with the situation of an alcoholic. You cannot let such people alone, as without very strict control, they will start to drink alcohol again and again. - The only way therefore to go - to see progress - would be to keep her ALWAYS with you, 24 h, but you have no rights to do that and if she is going working somewhere, she will do it even during her lunch break - it's like a drug addict. Such people cannot control themselves.

With you, as a 24h observation was not the case, you cannot offer this to her, such a girl - without any strict control - will just stray and follow her own feeling within a few days without guidance.

Even if the girl herself is totally willing and thinks something like 'Do with me, what you like, I am so thankful and I will always follow your advice etc..' - she must be kept under observation 24h. Almost like a prisoner - with the only right to leave if she wants to go - for always and without a choice to return.

Sounds harsh, I know, and some do-gooders will call me a woman-hater or abusive, treating women as doormat etc. or such BS, but this is the reality and the only way to go if you want to be successful with such a girl.

About health, as you noticed, there are also other dangerous diseases, such people - boys and girls - are rarely healthy. - There are always problems like teeth, skin problems, or infectious diseases like TB etc. - but this can be cured easily.
About HIV, it cannot, but medicine improved considerable and it is now like a chronical disease and if discovered early the full AIDS outbreak will be delayed for over 25+ years, at least this is what I heard. Not a short time.

Helping people, if you are willing to do so, I can only comment about myself, I developed a different style of helping people financially especially during the last decade. - As you have read maybe with this forum, my contribution goes to a poor girl and her blind sister and also benefits a little an older poor, but honest woman, who is not healthy at all with severe diabetes, but is helpful and takes care of all I do in Cebu.

I pay for health insurance, this helps to stay healthy for all of them, and I pay for the high school, this helps my girl later on to find a reasonable job, and I constructed a small house at a safe ground to make sure for them never to be in danger to become homeless because of flood, not paid rent, etc.


Maybe this is a better way to go - also for you in future?

theloneranger, on 08 February 2010 - 12:47 AM, said:

Sex trip/Douchebag reports can be sent to stickmanbangkok@gmail.com

theloneranger, on 08 February 2010 - 12:47 AM, said: