Thailand Home Forum Expat Life Expat Banking Hospitals Cost of Living Thai Culture Tips Jobs in Thailand Thailand Links Missing Persons

In Love With a Bar Girl

If you've had a few years cumulative or long term experience in Thailand, you'll have little to learn from this article. It's just my opinion and not intended to be completely authoritative. However, I'm sure most long term visitors or expats will agree with what I write.

You've probably read many other web pages that state you should not fall in love with a Thai bar girl. You still remain convinced yours is different. I'm going to tell you in detail just why you are wrong and what you should do about it. If you take my advice you will thank me for it in years to come when you're wiser.

Perhaps we should first address the question as to just why so many apparently decent guys from the west end up married to a prostitute they met in Thailand. Nearly all of them would laugh at the idea of marrying a hooker back in their homeland because they're considered filthy sluts and only losers would take such a woman home to meet their mother. However, a pretty smile, tiny tanned body, raven black hair and a cute arse in short cut off jeans under a tropical sky is all it takes for a guy to lose his morals and common sense. The reasons are complex but in my opinion it is largely to do with the fact that so many are openly socialising with and hiring the services of prostitutes in Thailand that it quickly becomes normalised in the visitors mind.

For the single male traveller, it is difficult to resist experimentation with a sexy young woman and after the first time, it becomes very easy to do it again and again. Don't listen to anyone who says they come here without being tempted because they are lying. Couple this with a fun, party like atmosphere, the happy-go-lucky attitude of the girls, who know how to push all the right buttons with lonely men who have had difficulties with demanding relationships with western girls... their fate is sealed and they will all too often fall in love with the lifestyle, the atmosphere and the first bar girl that smiles at him.

In truth, many bar girls are truly lovely women, even after years of selling themselves to fat losers who travel here only for sex. They often go on to make good wives but even then you will have problems. More on this later.

There is some weight to the argument that most of the girls in the sex industry are from impoverished backgrounds and have to do it for their family's survival. In fact, such are the comparative rewards for bagging a western husband that their parents will often encourage them into the sex industry in the hope they will meet and marry a westerner who they think will then go on to lift the whole family out of grinding poverty. After arriving to start her first job as a bar girl (and possibly her first time away from the village), she will likely have so little money, that the bar's mamasan may loan her some money, perhaps to buy some sexy clothes (as she will probably only have worn out clothes from her agrarian village), so she is already in debt and has to work to pay off that debt.

There will be little hope of the girl finding well paid work in her hometown as average wages are so low and the possibility of a good education for farm girls is just too far out of reach for them. Another driving factor is the fact that as she was growing up, she may have seen other girls from the village, or even her own older sisters, returning from tourist areas with good money, nice clothes, jewellery and maybe even a handsome western boyfriend. This fuels the migration to tourist hotspots as they hope to bring back similar riches for themselves and their family. Everybody in their home village knows they have been working in the sex industry but nobody mentions it...

Continue reading second page of Bar girl love

Need advice? Got a question? Go to our Thailand Forum